Me and my rubber suit against the world

My new anti-depressants are wonderful. I've already mentioned that I'm doing better, but I can't help but say it again.

I used to feel that my problems were being soaked into my soul. I couldn't think about anything else. I'd get focused on something, and not be able to let it go. My mind and my heart were so heavy, carrying everything around constantly. I was being eaten alive by my thoughts. I felt powerless to change anything.

I now feel like I'm wearing a rubber suit. I have an extra layer of protection against the world. The ugliness comes at me and instead of absorbing it, I'm able to see it clearly, then wipe it off. The problems aren't trapped inside me forever and ever. I'm able to put them on a shelf in another room, and take them out once in awhile. And then put them back again.

My load has been lightened considerably. I'm still confused by alot of things. There's still problems in my life that need solutions. But I feel like I've been given a big chunk of myself back.

Maybe I could have clicked my heels at any time and been transported to this place. I'm sure that the power was within me all along. But I couldn't access it before now. I was chasing my tail and I didn't know how to stop.

I'm freer than I've been in a very long time.

It's a start.