I'm not usually a procrastinator, but when it comes to getting prescriptions filled, I wait until the last minute. Part of it is that I hate the process so much, and the other part is that my copay is $50 per prescription. So I put off getting refills until I am desperate.
I recently went to drop off one of my scripts. It was for my morning pill, the one that gets me through the day, one that is normally prescribed for ADD, which my doctor believes is part of my problem in focusing on things. (what was I talking about?? ha ha...)
Anyway, the pharmacist called me back to the pharmacy to tell me that they only had eighteen pills they could give me. My prescription is for thirty. No problem - I said - I'll just pick up the rest when they come in. But no, I was told that since it was a narcotic, whatever they gave me, I'd have to live with because the rule/law? is that they can't give you the balance if they've given you a partial fulfillment. This seems completely ridiculous to me. But whatever. I have diabetes, I've suffered infertility, I've been through a nasty divorce - I get that life isn't fair or logical.
The pharmacist was overly nice (besides her pronunciation and whispering of the word narcotic, that made me feel like a criminal) and called five pharmacies until she found one that had thirty pills. (I think she saw the desperation in my face: I need my narcotic! NOW!) While she made the phone calls, I panicked, wished I had my anti-anxiety medication (how's that for irony? being at the pharmacy without my pills?), prayed to God that someplace in the tri-county area had my pills, and realized that I can't let this happen again.
As I was driving to the other pharmacy, I realized just what a balancing act I have going on right now. I'm so happy with the way I feel, that I'm scared of losing what ground I've gained. I also had no idea I was taking a narcotic (my doctor never mentioned it, web md never mentioned it, and I certainly don't feel like I'm taking a narcotic, all I feel is more normal). Right now my pills are my crutch. I don't want to be on this cocktail forever, but for the moment, I'm scared to have them taken away. I'm not ready not to have the support.
Next time, I'm calling the week before to make sure they have my narcotic available. And I won't forget to bring my anti-anxiety pills either.
Just in case.
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4 comments:
Are you sure she didn't say it was a "controlled substance" - such as Adderall, Ritalin and many ADD meds are? Narcotics fall into that category, also.
I'm a librarian and I think your blog (which i read the entirety of in the last two days) could be a book (with a pen name maybe) or a movie.
Your story has really come alive for me through this blog.
Hi Christine,
Thanks for pointing that out. I think that she probably did mean controlled substance, but what she said when she was making the calls was narcotic. That's probably just their lingo for controlled substance, but it really confused me.
-Stella
Hi Maura,
Thanks for your comment. It made me feel that my blog is worth writing.
If you know anyone in the book publishing or movie making business... let me know! :-)
Thanks again, it made my day.
-Stella
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