Funeral

I've been emotionally fragile this past week, and haven't had the energy to sit down at the computer for long. I apologize if this post seems choppy.

Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and prayers. My grandma is in a better place now, and her death was a celebration because she is now at peace. It's still hard, don't get me wrong, but it does make it easier knowing that she's no longer suffering.

My other three grandparents all died 12-15 years ago, so it's been awhile since I'd experienced a death in the family. I'm also older and at a different place in my life. Even though I wasn't as close to this particular grandparent, her death affected me in a way that the others hadn't.

Her death was like a birth, everyone gathered around her bed, transitioning her from one world to the next. I am so grateful that I was able to say good-bye and witness some of her last moments here on earth. It really was beautiful.

The funeral was two days - one for viewing, the other for the actual service. Arista and her husband took Lucian the first day, and Nemo's mother watched Lucian the second. I was a little worried about how the second day was going to turn out, but in the end, Lucian was fine, Nemo's mother enjoyed having him, I had a free babysitter, and I feel a little stronger about leaving Lucian with Nemo's family.

During the two days, I was able to spend time with cousins that I hadn't seen in a long time. Friends and family came from great distances to be there for my family, and that's a wonderful feeling.

My family is Catholic, but my grandma didn't want a Catholic mass. We had a service at the funeral home, with a family friend officiating. It was intimate and touching. The most meaningful part for me was this book. (the verse is here) I'm going to purchase a copy for the future.

There was a bagpipe player at the grave site. They released a dove as a symbol of hope.

I learned something this past week: my grandmother wasn't a daily player in any of our lives. I said it a few weeks ago that she was missing out. As she laid on her deathbed, it was her biggest regret.

The message I took from it is that I want to make a difference in someone's life. Even my own.