What a week

I've been sick this week, and my parents have been out of town so I've been on my own taking care of Lucian. I thought many times about taking a moment to update my blog, but just didn't have the energy. (and I actually did try once, but Blogger wouldn't let me.)

I believe I just have a cold, but it's been in my head and sinuses, and making my world seem fuzzy. Emotionally too it's been a hard few weeks for me. I've been feeling so defeated and unmotivated. I'm going to be returning to my doctor soon because I think I need some medication changes.

Lucian has started stringing words together. I'm amazed by everything he says - "birthday party" "mama coat" "bye-bye doggie" stuff like that. He's also learned the power of the word "no!" which has caused some power struggles between us. Since he hasn't figured out the concept of choices, he basically says no to everything, even if he really wants it.

Nemo has informed me that he's starting group therapy for "something that happened before he met me". I have no idea if this is a lie, the truth, or somewhere in between. I'd love if he were getting therapy for something, but I've learned enough from the past that he tells convenient lies. I'm sure he knew that I'd buy into an idea about him getting some kind of help.

I've started receiving hang up calls again. I believe that it's Elvira. I don't know of any telemarketers that call and hang up at 9:30 on a Saturday night. And really, the point of a telemarketer is to talk to you, not hang up.

Most days Lucian and I go on a walk with my Dad and the dog. My parents have an exercise bike which I've recently started using. I haven't lost any weight, nor am I feeling any better, but I feel like I could feel better. At least I'm trying.

I used to crochet quite a bit, and my Mom has been at me to start again. I finally took her suggestion and started a blanket. I don't feel the passion I once did, but as with everything else, I'm hoping to change my thinking by changing my actions. Even if it's not working yet.

Last week I saw my endocrinologist. My A1C is at 7.0. Considering my stress, it's a number I can live with, but not one that I'm happy with. Luckily, my cholesterol and blood pressure are perfect, so I didn't leave the office feeling bad about everything. He gave me two bottles of insulin samples too, which is a huge help considering my $50/prescription price tag that I can hardly afford.

I'm off to try and take a rest before Lucian is up from his nap.