Another list

I have not fallen off the face of the earth. I haven't been blogging, because things have been pretty good and I don't want to jinx it. I've also reached a level of acceptance (a low level for sure!) and a lot of the time I feel it's just easier to forge ahead than work through old stuff. Plus I've been busy.

I hate to make a list, but I'm a list person. And any post is better than no post at all, right?

1. Lucian suddenly wants people to play with him every waking moment. While this is quite charming, it's frustrating not to be able to accomplish anything with him in the room. Plus he hasn't mastered the skill of sharing. But he's darling and so excited that I can't say no to his requests - "Mama, play!" He's also been saying things like - "Mama driving. Papa's car. Lucian backseat." It's such a riot. He tells stories like that all day. My favorite is when he's taking a bath - "Lucian pen*is. Mama no. Papa pen*is."

2. My sister got engaged. This might merit a whole blog on its own. (just kidding) I am extremely happy for her. That being said, I'm getting annoyed with everyone (my sister, friends and even Nemo if you can believe it) ask me how I'm taking the news. I'm happy, excited, thrilled. I hope she gets her happy ending. Because there is such stress put on me that I'm not as excited as I should be, I just don't know how to act. I'm so frustrated. This wedding has nothing to do with me [besides being sister of the bride and matron/maid (do I get to be a maid again, or how does that work anyway?) of honor], it's really about my sister and her fiance. I've been telling everyone I'm fine. I had my dream wedding day. Now please leave me alone and tell me where to buy the dress and what time you want me there.

3. My relationship with Nemo is still improving. It's reminding me of how it is with an old college room mate - familiar but reserved. He took Lucian, my mom and me out to dinner tonight. It was a grand gesture for him. I'm still reminded of my old Nemo and it still hurts. But I'm doing okay.

4. Speaking of which, I feel pretty darn good. Most of the time. I have lots of energy, which I have been pouring into listing lots of junk on that auction site I hate to mention. I'm even toying with the idea of opening a store. Have no idea where I'd get that kind of inventory but it's the first thing (besides Lucian) that I've been excited about in a long time.

5. I applied for a job this week that I really really want. It's part time with benefits, close to home, similar to a company I worked for before, doing something I could really handle. I worked really hard on my resume and cover letter - I hope it pays off. It would give me everything I need - to be close to home and Lucian to have control over that part of my life, health insurance, money, etc etc. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, even though I've been disappointed by these kind of things many times before.

6. I'm not sure if it's my new pills or what, but my blood sugars have been all out of whack. I used to take about 35 units of insulin/day, now I'm up closer to 45. I don't know why it bothers me so, but it does. It took me weeks to tweak my basals so I could even come close to normal numbers. I don't know why I fight it so much. I just hate seeing my basals go from 18 units/day to 28.

7. I have a shopping day planned with my mom tomorrow. I'm dropping Lucian off with Nemo's mom and I'm getting out for the day. Nemo told me that Lucian begs Nemo's mom to play trains with him all day. That vision has been keeping a smile on my face because she's not one to get down on the floor and play. So it's gotta be a long day for her with him there.

8. Something else about Lucian. He climbed out of his crib for the first time the other day. I went in to get him one morning and he was sleeping on the floor with three pacifiers lined up next to him, and the picture of him and me moved on the dresser. I cracked up. Until I realized that he's not entirely safe anymore. He can get out of his crib. That petrifies me.

I want to write a big long meaningful post sometime soon. I've got lots of thoughts in my head just not the time to write them.

I have high hopes for 2007 though. It's going to be a better year.