Acne

I've had acne almost my entire life.

The first time I saw a dermatologist was when I was in the first grade. My Dad used to take me once a month or so. They'd have me lay down with steam burning my face to loosen everything up. I hated it. Then it got worse when the doctor would come in and use this tool to remove my blackheads. I remember being the only kid in the office. The only good things were that my Dad always took me out for ice cream afterwards, and I got to miss school. This went on all during elementary school.

By the time I got to middle school, my acne problem had escalated. My parents found me a different doctor. I liked him a lot. The first time I saw him I was probably eleven. I remember him telling me that I could have problems til I was eighteen. Eighteen! That seemed like forever to me. This doctor was thorough and patient, and through the years prescribed me everything under the sun.

In college, my acne problem got worse. By this point in time, I had rotated through every drug a few times, and nothing had worked. My face was always red, blotchy, achy, and rough.

Until my doctor said enough was enough and put me on Accutane. It cleared me up beautifully. I had the skin of a model. I look at pictures of myself from that time, and you can see that my skin is shiny and bright. Accutane has a lot of side effects, including birth defects so it's not without risk. But to me, after a lifetime of break-outs, it was worth it. I felt beautiful for the first time in my life.

Accutane is meant to be taken for a few months and stopped. It works by drying up your oil glands. In most people, the results last. Or at least clear up your skin to the point where an over the counter drug will work. Of course, that didn't happen for me.

Within a year, I was back at the dermatologist. We did another round of the Accutane. Another year later, same result. I was out of options.

My acne was a little less severe in my post-college days. I think that my hormones were probably more stable than when I was a teenager. However, I still had many flare-ups. I saw the dermatologist regularly until a few years ago when I finally gave up completely. I had been seeing the same doctor for almost twenty years. He did as much for me as he possibly could.

Last year, my Mom saw a commercial for Proactiv. At the time, she thought that I needed some confidence boosters because I was in the midst of the divorce. So she signed me up. I had my doubts about Proactiv, but it worked fairly well. I wasn't in the majority that had astonishing results, but the break-outs were less severe.

In May, I was shopping at my favorite store, Costco, and discovered that they sell a Proactiv knockoff called AcneFree. I had a coupon so I figured I had nothing to lose.

I tried it, and after a month, my face cleared up considerably. It's amazing. I wish I had had this product years ago. My skin still isn't perfect, but it's made a huge difference.

The biggest difference for me, though, has been with my self esteem.

The world is kinder if you're beautiful. I always felt like the Beast in Beauty and the Beast. That there was a gorgeous person beneath my outside layer of ugliness. As I grew up, it mattered a bit less. It was easier after high school, even easier after college.

When the doctor told me my acne would clear up by the time I was eighteen, I'm sure he never realized that it would be almost twice that before I was happy with my skin.