Sunday, August 06, 2006

What would you do if you were me?

I have a difficult time making decisions. I can't seem to make choices - I always worry that I'll make the wrong one.

So, dear readers, I want to ask you what you would have done if you were in my situation.

Nemo has to give me 24 hours notice to take advantage of his parenting time. If he doesn't call, I don't have to honor his request.

Tonight, he called fifteen minutes late. I was not home, so he left a message.

This is not the first time this has happened. In the past, I have both said yes and no, depending on the circumstances. On the one hand, I'm trying to work with him. But on the other, I feel that if I don't set and keep some boundaries, he'll take advantage of me forever.

And really, 15 minutes! He had ALL day long to call or e-mail me. You'd think that if it were that important to him to see Lucian that he'd make it a priority.

Leave me a comment and let me know what you think. You can leave it anonymous if you'd like.

I'll let you know what I did afterward.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

if it were 19 minutes would that be okay? If it was, would 23 minutes? and if that is the case, then 30 should be no biggie right?

I personally feel that rules are rules and you either follow them and all is good or you don't and suffer the consequences.

Maybe I am too strict but that is my two cents.

Anonymous said...

Maybe I'm a bit harsh too, but I believe that if you have come to an agreement then both sides should honour that, and if he is honouring his agreement then he forfeits his rights under that agreement. I believe that Nemo being the type of person he is will definite take advantage of you more and more as time goes on, and that you need to put your foot down with him early on- he's certainly not a 'reasonable' person and hasn't gone out of his way to consider yourself or Lucian, so why should you consider him?
Just my 2c....

Anonymous said...

I would continue to honor the 24 hour rule. Better to nip things like this in the bud. I think if you give Nemo an inch, he'll take a mile. Even if you let him go on this one, you could let him know it's the last time you're doing so.

As an added bonus, maybe if you honor the time boundaries, you will feel more in control of the situation?

Best of luck.

Anonymous said...

Definitely honor the boundaries.

Do I understand this correctly? By 15 minutes late, does that mean he wants to see Lucian at say, 6 pm tomorrow and he called at 6:15 pm the night before?

He's really pushing it huh?

I'm eager to hear what you did!

Anonymous said...

It's his kid. He should be clawing at the door to see him, not toying with the boundaries of the rules.

I agree with Lassie - give him an inch and he'll take a mile.

Anonymous said...

It's a hard call. I know you want to have a relatively peaceful relationship with Nemo. I don't have an opinion on this one but I'll be interested to here what you do.