So of course I was mad about the cheating. But really, it wasn't the cheating that angered me the most. It was that Nemo had no remorse. It was that he was selfish and treated me like I didn't exist.
I found out on a Sunday morning in October that Nemo had cheated. Elvira showed up on my doorstep at 7:00 in the morning.
Nemo and I were both sleeping when I heard the doorbell. It kept ringing. As I was seven months pregnant at this point, it took me a minute to get up and start down the stairs. Nemo stopped me. Blocked me from descending farther. Pleaded with me not to answer the door. He said - I'll tell you everything.
While the doorbell was incessantly ringing, he told me that he had met someone. It was just sex, nothing else. He said that he loved me, didn't love her, and had tried to dump her but that she wouldn't leave him alone. It was a sunny, autumn morning. A morning that for someone else may have been filled with hope.
I was devastated by his admission, but in a relieved sort of way. I knew that my husband was not home with me, I knew that he was not happy, that something was wrong with him. I cried, but I was rational. I was more focused than I had been in a long time. Things made more sense.
Up until that point, I had been feeling crazy, confused. I've learned in therapy, that he had been manipulating me. It's called gaslighting. Anyway, for that moment, my anger took a back seat. I was almost relieved that he was admitting it.
This wasn't the end of Elvira. In fact, he's still with her to this day.
What I'm really angry about is not the cheating, it's that he was never sorry about ruining our life together. He hasn't ruined my life, as it turns out I am better off without him. But he threw our marriage away for what? Why? Why could I never get the truth? If he didn't love me, that's all he had to say. I would have walked away quietly a long time ago and respected him. Now I am left to wondering why someone who claims to love you turns against you and turns into someone evil.
It's the why that keeps me wondering.
About Me
- stella
- United States
- I'm a 30-something mom to a wonderful little boy named Lucian, who was conceived using a sperm donor and IUI. Previous to that, I did IVF twice. I've had type 1 diabetes for almost twenty-five years and have used an insulin pump for eight. I'm currently using the Deltec Cozmo. I'm divorced from Nemo, who left me while I was pregnant. I'm currently single, without a job, and living with my parents. I'm not a writer, just someone with a story to tell. All events are factual to the best of my memory. Names are changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
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