Telling secrets

Nemo and I had decided that we weren't going to tell anyone that we had used donor sperm. We agreed that we wouldn't tell the child either. (this was one of his stipulations)

Then, Nemo left our marriage. He left me pregnant, alone, scared, and broke. Things changed, and so did I.

When Lucian was four months old, I told my parents about using donor sperm. They had had suspicions all along (because they knew all about the infertility struggles and Nemo's lack of quality sperm), so they weren't surprised by my announcement.

I slowly started telling other friends and family. I realized that because of all the circumstances surrounding Lucian's conception and birth, and the fact that I was divorcing my husband, I needed to tell the truth.

I have no shame or embarrassment with anything I have done. In fact, I'm proud of the choices I've made, and I'd like to shout it from the mountain tops.

The reactions that I've had from people have been wonderful. Everything ranging from indifference to joy. If anyone has judged me, they've done it out of my earshot. Most people were happy to know that Lucian is not genetically related to Nemo.

I knew that when Lucian was old enough, he needed to hear the truth. At age appropriate times, he needs to hear the story. I want others to know, so they can support him and love him for who he is, genetics and all, not for his last name, given by a man who didn't love him enough to stick around for awhile.