The best

They say that if you have one good friend in your life, you're truly blessed. I am extremely blessed as I have many friends, and quite a few good ones at that. But I have one best friend. I hate to use that label, because I think it excludes others. There's no other term to describe her, though, other than best. And even though I don't normally go around saying - Arista, my best friend, blah blah blah, most people in my life already know that she's the best.

(to my knowledge, she doesn't know my blog exists, as I haven't told anyone that I'm keeping this blog. But I hope if she ever finds this, she'll like the pseudonym I've chosen for her. Arista means best in Greek. And I think it's pretty.)

I've known Arista since we worked together at the mall over fifteen years ago. We worked at an uncool store, and whenever anyone would ask her where she worked, Arista always said the mall, like it was most supercool place to be.

I didn't immediately like her. I was a year older, and finished with high school. She was a high school senior and the first time I laid eyes on her, she came into the store wearing her cheerleader uniform with some of her teeny bopper friends. I think I even rolled my eyes after meeting her. After all, I was a college student!

Somehow though, we became friendly. There have been other friends of ours over the years that we've kept and lost, but somehow, we've always remained close.

How can I put into words a friend that sticks by you through diabetes, infertility (which is particularly isolating), infidelity, divorce, parenting, etc? There aren't enough words in the English language to describe our friendship.

Arista is the kind of person who would do anything for you. I strive to be the kind of friend she is to me. She's easy going, giving, accepting and forgiving.

Last fall, she called me and said that she wanted to throw me a birthday party. I was nearing the end of the divorce proceedings and it was such a horrible time. She and her husband (who I adore also) invited all my friends and family and threw an amazing party. It makes me cry just to think about it. In the midst of all my pain, there was a big bright spot thanks to her.

Arista has a daughter who is five months younger than Lucian. We've had great fun being mothers together. I am her daughter's godmother, and it's the single greatest honor of my life. It's like I have a daughter too.

There's something so special about friends. Your family, well they're your family. You get stuck with whatever family you're given. Friends, though, you get to choose and that's what makes the relationship so beautiful: knowing that neither of you are forced to be together, that you're together just because you want to.