Lucian's birthday is this month. He'll be two. I've been aware since his first birthday that this year his birthday will fall on Nemo's night of parenting. Basically, I've been planning how to handle this situation for almost a year now, so that I can have the birthday for my son that I want, with me included, and where I feel in control.
(I've mentioned that I'm totally obsessive compulsive and controlling, right? This is why I'm seeing both a therapist and a psychiatrist. Who the heck thinks this much about their kid's birthday a whole year before?)
I found some coupons for a kid-type restaurant in the newspaper. I approached Nemo tonight:
Me: (holding coupons) I was thinking about Lucian's birthday and thought maybe we could have dinner at this (totally obnoxious, expensive, bad food) restaurant.
Nemo: (surprised and excited) Yeah! Sounds good.
Me: I thought we could invite our parents, my sister, etc etc, buy 47 tokens, and order these five things off the menu, get there at 6:30, leave at 8:00, blah blah blah....
Nemo: Sounds good. What day of the week is his birthday on?
Me: Umm... (playing dumb because I have his next ten birthdays planned out) Let's see, last year it was on a (n)day, so it must be a (n+1)day.
Nemo: Okay. Sounds good to me.
Me: Let me know and we can plan how many people and whether we need to make a reservation. And I can plan for the weather, acts of God, and other miscellaneous things.
Nemo: Okay. Cool.
Do I need to blather on about everything? I get nervous talking to people (this even happens with people I'm close to) where suddenly I've told them so much they're either bored to tears or know way too much information about boring things in my life.
Obviously, Nemo is just along for the ride, just happy to be invited along. And I've been thinking and obsessing about it for a year. Don't get me started on the holidays. I feel so messed up. Yet I can't stop.
My doctor put me on some new medication. Hopefully it will straighten me out. This is getting so tiring.
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2 comments:
I wanted to say hi. I relate to a lot of what you are writing, though the issues and reasons are different. It sounds to me that you've come a long way in a year and good for you!
It's funny how we can obsess about things and find out that nobody else really cares. In one way it's good that you get to control the situation but it would be nice to see a bit more involvement from Nemo
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