We didn't hear from Nemo on Father's Day.
It's now been a week since Lucian and I have had any contact with Nemo. It's been a great week. I've had Lucian in bed at his normal bedtime. I've been able to plan evenings the way I want them. It's been wonderful.
I don't want to say it out loud because I don't want to jinx it, but I just have to wonder where Nemo is, and what he's been doing with his time. Since April, he's been a bit more consistent taking advantage of his parenting time. It's been a long time where I haven't heard from him at all. (when Lucian was a newborn, it would be nothing to not see Nemo for a week, and have him randomly show up whatever evening fancied him, wearing the same clothes he had left in the week prior.)
My struggle is this: maybe I'm allowing Nemo to get away with this behavior. Should I stand up and insist that he be there for Lucian? Not that I want him to, or that I think that would help. My psychiatrist thinks that I'm avoiding the confrontation by blindly accepting any excuse he gives me. I am avoiding confrontation, but my reasons are that I'm so happy, I let him think I'm buying any excuse, or lack of excuse. I don't care that he thinks I'm stupid.
What kind of excuse do you think he'll give me for missing Father's Day?
About Me
- stella
- United States
- I'm a 30-something mom to a wonderful little boy named Lucian, who was conceived using a sperm donor and IUI. Previous to that, I did IVF twice. I've had type 1 diabetes for almost twenty-five years and have used an insulin pump for eight. I'm currently using the Deltec Cozmo. I'm divorced from Nemo, who left me while I was pregnant. I'm currently single, without a job, and living with my parents. I'm not a writer, just someone with a story to tell. All events are factual to the best of my memory. Names are changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
2 comments:
I'm no expert, and at this age it may or may not matter, but certainly as he grow up consistency is an issue. I know women who have said to their children's father "if you want to see them once a week - fine. One a month - fine. Even once a year is okay. BUT you MUST make that consistent. No skipping weeks or months, etc." Because it's not fair to the child. Period.
Oh, and as to worrying about Lucien having to deal and explain to friends about his "lack" of a father - hey, just look around. He is not the only one, such as you are not alone in being a single parent. It happens. Unfortunately, quite often.
And you will both be fine.
God only knows what kind of excuse he comes up with, but you know what? It really doesn't matter one bit. It won't make any difference to Lucian or yourself, I dare say you're both way better off without him.
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