Friday, June 16, 2006

Perpetuating the fantasy

Today was wonderful. Lucian and I went to see some friends this morning that have a boy the same age as Lucian. There aren't many kids in our neighborhood, and at the moment I can't afford to enroll him in any programs that would expose him to other kids. So we both love it when he's able to interact with other children. The two boys were so fun to watch together.

He and I were both so wiped out from our playdate that he took a three hour nap, and I slept for two.

Tonight is normally one of Nemo's nights to see Lucian, he's currently MIA. I decided to take Lucian to the park after dinner. He was so excited going down the slides, gliding on the swings, and running around watching the other kids. My heart feels like it will explode when I see him so happy. He experiences joy in every little thing, and every moment I'm with him is a gift.

When I have days like this, I cherish them. They're a bonus. I know that these kinds of days only perpetuate my fantasy that Nemo will leave us alone, and Lucian won't be exposed to him. These days give me hope that our life can be normal. Next week will probably depress me when he's showing interest again.

But I'll take a day like today anytime.

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