Why I started blogging

Kerri from Six Until Me. asked me - what inspired me to start blogging? I can't seem to get the question out of my head since. Why did I start?

The biggest reason that I started blogging was to get things off my chest. In addition to my therapist, psychiatrist, lawyer, friends and family, (and anyone else who would listen) I guess I needed another outlet. When I started telling my story to people, I started healing. Having everyone know has lifted the weight I was carrying around. I can't tell you what a different place I'm in today than I was in even three months ago when I started the blog.

Each time I write and post something, I'm releasing it to the universe. It's so cathartic. I'm writing for myself, but at the same time I know that others are reading it. And I'm glad.

The only thing I regret is that at this time I feel I have to remain (somewhat) anonymous. My name is unique, and if you were to google me, you'd find me on the first try. I'd hate for Nemo to find my blog at this point in time, so I have to be careful.

And that's what stopped me from starting a blog earlier. I'm afraid of Nemo's retaliation. I'm still physically threatened by him too. (although I promise, he's never laid a finger on me. Ever. But he does scare me.) By putting pieces of my heart and soul out there on the internet, I'm conquering a little bit of my paranoia also.

I would also love to post pictures, especially of Lucian. But I can't. Not right now. He's so darling and I'm such a proud mother. This blog isn't really about him anyway. It's about me. It's what I'd write in my journal, if I still had it.

My hope is that somehow my story can help or inspire someone. Whether it be to get on an insulin pump (which I highly recommend), to take the plunge and use a sperm donor (my kid is amazing), to stand up and not be treated the way I was, or to just be thankful that your life has quieter problems (I yearn for that day!)

In the meantime, thanks to anyone reading this. A bigger thanks if you've come back more than once, and if you've commented, a big hug from me to you. Your comments have meant the most to me. I'd continue to write even if no one was reading, but it means even more to know that you're taking time out of your busy life to care enough to take a glimpse at my mine.

Thank you. Really, thank you.