A better place

I complain about Nemo a lot (because there's a lot to complain about) but really things have gotten better. A little better anyway.

It was incredibly awkward during the transition time after I had filed for the divorce, but before I had moved out. Nemo was unpredictable and frightening. I felt like he was a loose cannon waiting to go off. A couple of times, he did.

The first time was in the spring. I was reading four month old Lucian a story, when Nemo came home. During this time, Nemo would come home from work on random nights, and never even greet or pay attention to Lucian. Ever.

Anyway, this particular night, he came home and was mad at me. (usually he was just indifferent towards me, like he didn't know who I was at all.) He was upset because I had told my attorney everything, and given her a list of our assets, including his profit sharing account that I had said I wouldn't go after. (and as an aside, I didn't want to go after it. But after he had spent all the equity out of our home, he left me no choice.)

I explained this to him. But he was still mad. He got even more upset. I asked him to please keep his voice down, that he was going to scare Lucian. Nemo walked out of the room and started screaming obscenities at me from another room. Mean and cruel things that I can't even repeat. Even though Lucian was too young to understand, I pledged then that I would never have him in that kind of environment again. No child should have to hear horrible things about their mother.

After that, I avoided Nemo as much as possible. Then, he stole my journal. I felt vulnerable and unprotected. I voiced this to my attorney, but she thought it was in my best interest to stay in the house, as it gave me more leverage.

So even though I'm constantly complaining about him, it's gotten better. I live somewhere where he doesn't show up randomly. He doesn't call and harass me anymore. We have very little to talk about. We're not really fighting about anything anymore.

Just knowing that Lucian and I are safe from the screaming, obscenities and drama makes it all the better. I'll tell you about the second time he went off on me another time.