Five years

I can't say anything about September 11, 2001 that hasn't already been said by many others. At least, not anything eloquent, meaningful or profound. And it was such a defining moment for so many that I can't even begin to go there because I don't want to diminish what happened.

So what I'm going to write about is how September 11 changed me, personally.

I was at work that morning (at the job I would later lose partially because of the events of September 11). Someone called me into a conference room where we watched the breaking news. At first, I didn't even understand.

We saw the World Trade Center towers collapse. We all shrieked in horror. Twice.

The company sent us home at noon to be with our families. I drove home taking a particular notice to my surroundings. I felt like a child who had just found out that there was no Santa Claus. I realized how naive our old world was. I knew things would be changing, but I didn't understand what the particulars would be.

Today, as I've thought back about that day five years ago, amidst the terror, the tragedy, the sadness, and the loss, all I've been able to think about is this: On that fateful day, I still had something - my husband loved me.

Now, he does not.

Talk about being naive.