Wednesday, September 13, 2006

A letter to all my readers

To my anonymous commenter that said:
self pity is not your friend.

I guess your mother didn't teach you that if you can't say something nice, don't say it at all. Or not to judge people.

You might have missed it, but this blog is all about me. Me, me, me and me! I've looked through my stats and I've seen that you've come back here quite a few times, you've even subscribed to my blog through bloglines. There must be a reason you're coming back, I wonder why though if you think I'm pitying myself. If you don't like what I have to say, no one's forcing you to return.

I won't feel bad about expressing my feelings honestly. In fact, I even think most of us deserve a little self pitying from time to time. Although my post wasn't about self pity. It was about how things in my life personally had changed in the last five years. I was naive to what my husband was capable of and now I'm not.

I'm not going to delete your comment. Even though you've successfully annoyed me, it's a good remember that not all people out there on the internet are thoughtful. You are why bloggers turn off anonymous comments.

AND

To all my other readers, anonymous and known, lurkers and commenters:

Thanks for reading. Thanks for all the kind words and support, even if it's silent.

I appreciate a good discussion and dialogue, and it's okay if you don't agree with me. I like hearing dissenting opinions and like learning from others. I like diversity and coming into contact with people who not only are similar but are different than I am. The personal attacks are what I don't like.

-Stella

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Stella,

It wasn't a personal attack, I am sorry that you took it that way. It was advice. I've had low moments in my life as well, and no, I haven't walked in your shoes, but I do know that for me, feeling sorry for myself was of no benefit at all. And it took me years to realize that. I am sorry if my statement came off as mean spirited, I just was trying to hint towards a more positive outlook.

I like reading your blog, and I do wish the best for you and yours. I won't ever comment again. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

Allison said...

Stella,

I've certainly had my share of anonymous jerks, but none of them have ever apologized, so I think this one was a simple case of misunderstanding. It's hard to tell people's tones on the internet unless very specific like ::sarcasm::.

Anyway, I have read every single update and I think I've commented once, but seriously, you are right, this is way better than a soap opera and you are a way better writer than those script writers! Maybe they can make a TV show based off of you? Eh? No? Oh well.

I hope thing with Nemo either start shaping up or completely vaporize because he sounds like a loser times forty thousand. But as long as Lucien is safe and happy, nothing else really matter, right?

Good luck and I'll definitely be tuning in next time.

Mina Wolf said...

Personally, I didnt see it as self pity either. I saw it as a "Wow, look how much things can change." You know now that you're better off without him. At least, without who he is now. There is nothing wrong with feeling wistful about what you two might have had then. It's normal and it shows you actually have feelings. But then, it's obvious that your self reflective thoughts are not shared by many people out there. This world would be a much better place if they were. Anyway, good for you for making this post! I'm happy you actually addressed it rather then feeling badly quietly.

Anonymous said...

well, just to let you know. I took you off of my bloglines. You were one of about 135 blogs I tracked that mentioned diabetes.

I was reading about commmenting on blogs this morning as I was bothered that I had unknowingly committed some sort of commenting faux paux and read the following from a blog that doesn't allow comments:

And finally, and most important for you, it [commenting] permanently changes the way I write. Instead of writing for everyone, I find myself writing in anticipation of the commenters.

I didn't what to put you in that type of situation, so I am going to excuse myself from your blog. Sorry for the trouble.

Anonymous (aka Fountainhead)

stella said...

Fountainhead,

I think if your original comment had included the paragraph in your second comment, I would have taken no offense, because you would have explained your comment. The way it was written sounded to me like an insult.

I appreciate your apology - it means a great deal to me that you would go to the trouble to clear it up with me.

I agree that commenters can change how you write your blog. On the other hand, it's a great way to get feedback from others.

My intention is not to stir up any trouble (got enough in my real life as it is!) or to discourage commenting, or even reading my blog. I hope that you'll continue to read my blog.

-Stella

Kerri. said...

Stella,

I'm a faithful reader here, though I've only commented a few times. I like what you've got here. It's a very interesting read.

I have had some anonymous commenters on my blog but I don't care particularly: I write it for me, not for them. And their opinion is just that: an opinion. The fact that your Anon came back and apologized speaks volumes about the capacity for misunderstandings on the web. It's tough to convey what we mean sometimes.

Comments often fuel new posts. Like this one that you've written. So well done for turning a potential negative into a true positive.

You're a tough cookie. And a good mom. :)