Some things never change

Since Lucian's been sick, Nemo has called me several times over the past couple of days to inquire on how he's doing. He has seemed very concerned. Yesterday Nemo said that if Lucian wasn't better (and this illness has a pretty long tail for contagiousness) that he would like to come over and see Lucian at my parents' house.

Nemo has been showing more interest in Lucian lately. I've complained about it before. I still don't understand why now. I'm trying not to over analyze it, because it's driving me crazy. I mostly think that Nemo has had to have some accountability to his parents, and that's his motivator.

Anyway, back to the current events. Today Lucian was feeling slightly better. He's at the stage of the illness where you're not completely better but you don't want to lay around either. So he was extremely fussy, not eating well, and just generally not the most charming of children today. (We watched train videos all. day. long.)

I e-mailed Nemo and to confirm with him to come over because Lucian wasn't up to going over to see him. I didn't hear back from him until almost dinner time, when he called and said he was still at work. He said that he had to stay until 6:30 (he usually leaves at 4:30) and what time was Lucian going to bed? He knows that we have a routine, that I get Lucian to bed at 7:00 nearly every night. And still he asks.

I'm trying hard to make Nemo insignificant in my life because I give him too much of my power. I generally plan my day around the fact if we have a visit or not. It's stupid, I know. It makes me feel like if I'm prepared for the situation that I'm in more control over it. I feel so out of control. I'm not sure that my preparedness really helps. (hello my old friend - the link between diabetes and preparedness) I know that my obsessing doesn't help, and I haven't been able to stop that either.

What I believe happened was that Nemo saw an easy way out. A way for him to have a night off from babysitting Lucian and having dinner with his parents.

I'm so confused and unfocused on the situation that I can't seem to understand it. It baffles me.

I guess the bottom line is that I didn't have to see Nemo today. Lucian got to bed early (6:30! because he was a mess tonight) and I got a few extra hours to myself. Whatever am I complaining about?

I'm going to go to bed and try and forget about this. I can't seem to get a good grasp on it awake. Maybe my subconscious can work it out.