Tonight I found out that my friend who filed for a divorce about three months ago, is dating someone.
I'm conflicted for two reasons:
First, for her kids. (but since I didn't hear this from her directly, I don't know much about it, and I'm going to assume that she is not introducing this new person to her children yet. I like to think that she has their best interests in mind.) So I'm not going to address this issue.
Second, because I feel left behind. In my own life. My reasoning for not dating is because for the time being, my son is the most important thing. I'm trying to give him the most solid foundation that I can, and right now (for me, anyway) I feel that I'm doing the right thing. I want to get our lives on track before I introduce someone new into it. (maybe even more importantly, I want to get my life on track before I introduce someone new into it.)
I can't help but wonder, how is my friend able to get on with her life so quickly? Before the papers are finalized and signed? How? Why am I not ready? Why is she?
The conflict that I'm having is that I really do want to have someone in my life. I want that fairy tale happy ending too. (heck I just want a little less of a bumpy ride along the way) But I don't feel very datable right now - I wouldn't want to date me. (You know that whole, you've gotta love yourself before others can thing.)
It's hard sitting on the sidelines. Even if you know you're not ready to get into the game.