Monday, November 20, 2006


Tonight I found out that my friend who filed for a divorce about three months ago, is dating someone.

I'm conflicted for two reasons:

First, for her kids. (but since I didn't hear this from her directly, I don't know much about it, and I'm going to assume that she is not introducing this new person to her children yet. I like to think that she has their best interests in mind.) So I'm not going to address this issue.

Second, because I feel left behind. In my own life. My reasoning for not dating is because for the time being, my son is the most important thing. I'm trying to give him the most solid foundation that I can, and right now (for me, anyway) I feel that I'm doing the right thing. I want to get our lives on track before I introduce someone new into it. (maybe even more importantly, I want to get my life on track before I introduce someone new into it.)

I can't help but wonder, how is my friend able to get on with her life so quickly? Before the papers are finalized and signed? How? Why am I not ready? Why is she?

The conflict that I'm having is that I really do want to have someone in my life. I want that fairy tale happy ending too. (heck I just want a little less of a bumpy ride along the way) But I don't feel very datable right now - I wouldn't want to date me. (You know that whole, you've gotta love yourself before others can thing.)

It's hard sitting on the sidelines. Even if you know you're not ready to get into the game.

1 comment:

Mina Wolf said...

Well, as far as how she can move past it so soon, a lot of times it's hard to know how much a couple or even a person had tried before the made the final decision. She may actually be ready to move on because she let go a while back. Also, she could just need a distraction and something fun and light. Maybe that's why she's dating again.

I can understand why you may feel the need to want to move on too. It's natural. But it's also good that you know yourself well enough to know that you're not really ready for it to start casually. If you don't mind my being blunt, you might run the risk of looking for a "hero" rather then just have some fun and see if it ever does become something more. That's just my prespective. It's kinda the way I would be in your situation I think.

I think your reasons for wanting to wait are sound. Just be sure they are the real reasons and be ready to let them go when the time is right.