Sunday, October 01, 2006

Lies, lies and more lies... or maybe not?

If someone is constantly lying to you, and you are forced to deal with them, how do you make it work?

As I mentioned on Friday, Nemo called and told me he was sick. Not only called me, but sent me an e-mail with links about this disease he has and how horrible it is. He told me that he went to the doctor on Friday morning and the doctor told him to come back on Monday to be re-evaluated. That he even might have to be admitted to the hospital for seven days.

I told Nemo in no uncertain terms that I did not want Lucian around him if he was contagious. Nemo agreed with me.

Fast forward to today, Sunday. Nemo called me this afternoon to see Lucian tomorrow. I asked him how his disease was progressing. He said that his boils or scabs or whatever were mostly healed. I don't see how this is possible since it has only been two days. And from my research on the internet, most likely these boils would have needed to be surgically drained. Nemo did not mention that he had had that done on Friday. (although he told me about a coworker that had her boils surgically drained, so I assume he would have told me that he, too, had had that done.)

He said that he is still going back to the doctor tomorrow. I said that I wanted him to ask the doctor specifically about his contagiousness. But is he really going to the doctor?

Then I asked him if he was okay, because he sounded distant. (I slip this concern of mine in every once in awhile. But honestly, sometimes he sounds sick and contagious, or so unlike himself, that I wonder if he is drunk or high or something) Anyway, he tells me that he is out of the state, out shopping for condos with his brother, who is moving.

Isn't it interesting that the same weekend that Nemo is claiming to be deathly ill, is the same weekend he takes a trip that is over five hours away. My guess is that he wanted to leave Friday night, so he suddenly had this illness.

Here I've been so worried that Lucian is going to catch this disease, when Nemo probably hasn't been sick at all.

Or has he?

I'm exhausted by all these things I can not control. How do I not worry about Lucian? I think any mother would worry. And yet, I feel like Nemo's always in control, because he can make things up as he goes along.

Every time it gets a little easier for me, something happens and I get more frustrated. I want this vicious cycle to end.

I wish there was an end in sight.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I was looking through random blogs and ran across yours. My first thought when I read about what was obviously an on going problem was simple, you are not responsible for this guy in any way. It would have been very simple for him to tell the truth but he didn't. Okay, so what does that mean for you? That you have to take care of him? Nah. I have noticed that women often go out of their way to save the feelings of men who have no sense of moral responsibility or honesty of their own. What for?
Sorry for lecturing but you did ask.
Men who lie consistently, for no reason other then some elusive sense of comfort, deserve nothing. And you have no responsibility to take of this little boy, you have a little boy who actually needs you.
Hope these thoughts help.
Phillip

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Anonymous said...

I can understand that you would be unsure, the man is a complete narcissist- I wish I had some sage advice on how to handle him but I can't imagine you doing anything other that what you are...

stella said...

Hi Phillip,

I appreciate your comment. I'm going to save it and refer to it the next time I'm debating about what I should do when Nemo throws something at me. He does deserve nothing, but at the same time I HAVE to deal with him. I'm always trying to do the right thing, and it's usually me that suffers.

Anyway, thank you for the very constructive comment.

-Stella

stella said...

And Meri-Ann,

Thanks as usual for your constant support!

-Stella